DEAR LADY A: I feel kind of bad writing this. My boyfriend likes his nipples pinched in bed especially when he’s coming and I absolutely hate doing it. Not only is it kind of awkward depending on what position we’re in but on top of that it looks a bit … femme. I just don’t like the imagery. Sometimes he’ll do it himself which manages to turn me off even more. I suggested clamps which he reluctantly agreed to but neither of us liked it. He missed the human touch and I hated them on sight. Do you know what it’s like to be under a 6 foot 4 man and trying to avoid being clocked in the face by the golden nip clamp chain dangling and swinging between his pecs? I really do like my guy but, for me, the nipple obsession is just not a cock hardener.
– Skip the Nip
DEAR SKIPPY: Do I know what it’s like to be under a 6 foot 4 man, trying to avoid being clocked in the face by the golden nip clamp chain dangling between his pecs? Actually, yes. Yes, I do. And I can honestly say when a large man in S&M accoutrement is ejaculating over me, my first thought is generally not, “How femme!”
Now, I could preach to you about gender politics and how your concept of “butch versus femme” is just a random culture-based idea of masculine norms, but I won’t (and you’re welcome). I’ll simply remind you that, in the womb, all humans develop nipples completely independent of their genital development which means that nipples are neither male nor female in their origin. Both sexes have plenty of nerve endings in that area, and as far as I know, pretty much everyone can cut glass with those things if they’re cold enough, so the notion that nipple sensitivity is a “femme” characteristic is absurd. Of course, that understanding probably won’t help harden your cock the next time he asks for a teat tweak.
Encourage him to get his nipples pierced. I realize you probably wanted advice on how to get his focus OFF that area, but I’m a realist. He will not and should not give up his second favorite erogenous zone for you, so this plan is just easier. With piercings, his nips will be extra sensitive so you won’t need to pinch as often to get him really hot and bothered. Less cumbersome tit-apparatus like barbells or rings (which can be very butch, by the way) will mean you’ll never again have to dodge that weird dangling chain thingy, and that can only help the situation.
Finally, remind him that while he has kinks that need to be satisfied, so do you. And one of your kinks is hyper-masculine men. Get your strapping, virile 6 foot 4 hotty into a baseball uniform or bear leathers or a cowboy hat. Tell him to really butch it up, act the macho part, and see what he gives you. He’ll owe you a sexual favor for being so amenable to nipple play, so he’ll probably jump at the chance to role play for your pleasure. I know with a little imagination and acceptance, the two of you can come up with a hot manly fantasy that involves nipples, hard cocks and not a “femme” in sight. Write to me and let me know how it turns out. And, as always, include pics.
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